How do I write a letter of wishes?

Are you looking for a FREE template for a letter of wishes?

At the end of this blog article, you will find a link to download a complimentary copy of our carefully written example letter of wishes.

Before you scroll down to grab yours, read on for helpful guidance and some important information.

Continue reading, as we share tips on what to include in your personal letter. We also explain why having a letter of wishes can make everyone's life a little simpler.

Our Letter of Wishes example is only for individuals domiciled in England and Wales who are making a will containing discretionary provisions or trusts. The law in other jurisdictions may include forced heirship provisions, so we recommend consulting a qualified legal practitioner in your region for advice.

We have other complimentary estate planning guidance and solutions. Check out our resources page for our free guides. If you’re confused by estate planning and legal jargon, our glossary of key terms can help.

Here’s what you need to know:

What is a letter of wishes?

A letter of wishes sits alongside your Will. Unlike a Will, a letter of wishes is not binding. It has two primary purposes:

  • a farewell letter to your family, friends and the people you love and

  • your opportunity to guide the executors who will manage your estate, explaining how you’d like them to deal with your wealth and assets.

Is a letter of wishes legally binding?

Your executors, also known as your personal representatives, are not legally obliged to follow any requests you make in any side letter. If you want to ensure that specific personal possessions go to the people you choose, perhaps because these items have sentimental value, these should be included within your Will.

Why do I need to write a letter of wishes?

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Your letter of wishes is intended to give additional guidance and explanations about the gifts in your Will. You can be as honest and truthful as you wish. If the letter is separate from your Will (see our template letter for appropriate wording), it will not become a public document.

Your family may not think about your Will until after they have arranged your funeral, so it’s sensible to chat through your thoughts and wishes whilst you are fit and well.

Inheritance laws differ throughout the UK, but you can write a letter of wishes to accompany a Will whether you live in England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland.

Gifts to your spouse or civil partner

Many couples give their surviving husband, wife or civil partner all their estate. This may be a straightforward gift to each other, but where care fees and inheritance tax are a consideration, a life interest trust may be a good estate planning option.

If your Will leaves your estate to your spouse as a gift or in a trust, you may want them to make specific gifts on your behalf. Doing so can help manage the tax position of your joint estate, as there would be no inheritance tax payable on those gifts if your spouse survives a further 7 years.

Suggested wording:

I wish (surviving spouse’s name) to make some small gifts as follows:

Details including names, items and sums

Excluding someone who might expect to inherit

Explaining your reasons and intentions to your executors is essential if you decide to exclude a family member from your Will.

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The Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act 1975 gives certain classes of people the legal right to challenge your Will if they feel you have not made reasonable provision for them. This includes a child, spouse, civil partner, ex-spouse or ex-civil partner who has yet to remarry or cohabitating partner.

The legal grounds for contesting a Will include:

  • Not having the testamentary capacity to make a Will

  • Being coerced or unduly influenced

  • A mistake or other error that suggests the testator did not know or approve the contents

You must read and understand your Will and ask your Will writer for clarification if you have any queries.

Suggested wording:

I am conscious that my Will makes no provision for (child/spouse/relative’s name). I do not wish (name) to have any benefit from my estate because (give your reasons), so I would ask my trustees not to make any distribution to them.

Or if you have included the person as a potential beneficiary of a discretionary trust, you might say:

I am happy for my trustees to distribute up to £10,000 to (name).

Confidentiality

You may wish your letter to be confidential, or you may be happy for the beneficiaries to see it. Generally, if you are excluding a family member or being very frank about your feelings, it may be better to make your letter of wishes confidential. In this case, the suggested wording would be:

This letter of wishes does not revoke or alter the provisions of my Will.

This communication to my trustees is to be regarded by them as privileged. Copies should not be given to anyone other than professional advisers unless my trustees decide otherwise or a court directs. This paragraph may be quoted to anyone who requests a copy of this letter.

This letter revokes entirely any previous letter I may have prepared.

Discretionary Trusts

Many parents create Will trusts to protect vulnerable beneficiaries or safeguard their children’s inheritance on a second marriage. Your Will may include a trust of property or a trust of your whole estate - this can give flexibility to your executors. If circumstances change, they can act appropriately.

Your letter of wishes can set out why your Will contains a discretionary trust. It should also explain how you want your trustees to manage the funds:

  • Where do you want your money invested

  • Which financial professional do you want to help your executors

  • Who should receive what sums and when

  • At what age should younger beneficiaries inherit

  • Should your spouse be the priority, or are they financially self-sufficient

  • If your spouse remarries, do they continue to benefit

  • Who can live in trust property

  • What happens at the end of the trust period

  • Is anyone excluded that might be upset by being disinherited

  • Are there any beneficiaries with personal issues (like bankruptcy for divorce) that you want the trustees to consider

  • Do your grandchildren inherit whilst their parents are still alive

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Importantly, where your Will includes a discretionary trust, your executors will have decision-making powers. These powers allow them to act in a way they feel is in the best interests of all your beneficiaries. Professional executors have a higher duty of care than family executors. Professionals will usually rely on your letter of wishes and lifetime conversations when making decisions about the distribution of your estate and the management of any trusts your Will creates.

Charities

You may decide to leave your favourite charity a specific sum. Or, you could include them as potential beneficiaries of a discretionary trust, leaving the specifics to be handled by your letter of wishes. This latter option allows you to change your mind and the value of the gift without rewriting your Will.

You may decide not to name charities within your Will. Charities have a duty to their beneficiaries - they must ensure any bequests are collected promptly, which can lead to them pursuing their claim more frequently than your executors feel is necessary. A discretionary trust with a private and confidential letter of wishes can avoid this potential problem.

Guardians

If you have young children, your Will should name your children’s guardians. Your letter of wishes is more personal and will explain how you want those guardians to care for your children.

Social services will organise care for your children if you haven't appointed guardians. However, the care they arrange may not be with the people you would choose, so we encourage all Carisma Wills’ clients to make this choice.

Choosing guardians can be difficult, so let us guide you through the options and explain what to consider.

You might include your thoughts about the following:

  • private education, boarding school or day school

  • religious preferences

  • health care and special needs

Personal possessions (chattels)

Artwork and other valuables can be included in your Will. The gift fails if you leave a specific item to a friend or family member and no longer own it when you die. If this happens, the recipient receives nothing (unless your Will says otherwise).

It’s sensible for your Will to leave your low-value personal possessions to your executors to distribute, as this means it won’t need rewriting if you give anything away, buy or receive other personal items. Your letter of wishes can direct your executors about who receives specific things.

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Pets

If you have dogs, cats or other animals as pets, your letter of wishes should explain any arrangements you’ve made for their care. Your Will can provide funds for the pet’s upkeep and well-being. Ideally, this will be a lump sum, as ongoing payments can be challenging for trustees to administer. You might consider creating a trust fund for long-lived animals like tortoises and horses.



Digital Assets

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The Law Society recommends that your Will include a clause regarding digital assets and intellectual property. To simplify life for your executors, consider creating a password-protected spreadsheet containing a list of your assets and accounts and ensuring they know how to access it.

Most social media platforms have a legacy setting. Use this function to name a tech-savvy friend or family member who can manage your online history and ensure your photos and precious memories are saved. Your digital contact can also close your accounts or put them into a secure and safe legacy mode.

There are phone apps and secure online document vaults, including Keylu, with a host of features. We recommend doing a little online research to find a solution that feels right for you.



Funeral directions

If you have specific wishes for your memorial or funeral, include details in your letter of wishes. When someone dies, your family and friends will be mourning, and your guidance will be welcomed. Include details of your pre-paid funeral plan if you have one. You could include directions about:

  • Type and quality of the coffin

  • Flowers, donations or gifts to a named charity instead of flowers

  • Cremation or burial

  • Hymns or readings

  • Location for your remains

  • People to be involved

  • People to be informed

Updating your letter of wishes

Make a copy of your letter of wishes to keep at home, and store the signed original with your Will in a secure, insured, waterproof and fireproof facility.

Review your letter of wishes at least once a year, and tell your executors where they can find it. Better still, give them a copy and discuss the details with them whenever you make a material change.

Enter your details below, and you’ll receive an email with a link to our FREE letter of wishes template. You can unsubscribe at any time.

The information in this article and our free template is for guidance and does not constitute legal or financial advice. We strongly recommend that you discuss your estate plans with a professional. We make every effort to update our website when the law or interpretation of the law changes, but we do not guarantee this.

 
Donna Hames BA Hons LLB Hons GDL(CPE) MIPW

Donna is the founder of Carisma Wills, and her varied career includes financial services, auditing, and technical product development. She has a degree in business from Leeds University and a law degree (20 years later!) from Staffordshire University.

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